to camp or not to camp
by Zinter-Rose13
Summary: Karkat has two best friends, Gamzee and Sollux. But they both secretly have a crush on Karkat. What happens when their families decide to go camping together? Rated M for swearing and later chapters. Humanstuck AU
1. Chapter 1

Your name is Karkat Vantas and since you met Sollux Captor on your first day in High school and befriended him, your best friend Gamzee Makara has been acting weird. He gets angry when Sollux is around and when you're alone he tends to lash it out on you.

You tried to talk to Sollux about it, but he looked awkward at you and shook his head, saying he didn't know the reason Gamzee was so pissed all the time, apparently because of the two of you being friends. After that you tried asking Gamzee directly but he just changed topics.

It frustrates you to no end. To top it of, Gamzee has also developed a habit of hugging you all the time, like you're some stupid pet, and during lunches he even forces you to sit on his lap. He always had these strange cuddling urges, so it isn't exactly new to you, but it annoys the shit out of you that he's now practically glued to you and he won't explain why.

You wander through the school as you see Gamzee and Sollux near the janitor's closet. You sigh as you realize they're probably fighting again, so you walk away silently in the hope they won't notice you. You may be grumpy and sometimes even a chagrin, but you really don't want to be involved in another of this stupid discussions they always have.

You're Gamzee Makara and your best friend, who's secretly also the person you have loved ever since you can remember, has gotten himself a new friend. This wouldn't be a problem, if the guy wasn't constantly trying to flirt with your Karbro. Since your adorable best friend is too nice to notice, he fails to do something to stop it.

It's not really your kinda thing, but you're actually jealous as hell, the motherfucker doesn't even get scolded, like your Karbro scolds you when you say something he doesn't like. It annoys the motherfucking shit outta you. So much, that you started shadowing, or actually practically stalking, Karkat. Also, you try to get the guy to just fucking go away by sending him glares, insults, and by just emitting a really dark aura.

You're walking through the halls at school, looking for your little Karbro -he ran off a few minutes ago to get a drink, and he should've been back by now- when suddenly the motherfucker Sollux stands in front of you. You sigh as you try to get past him.

The moron doesn't know where to stop, does he? You're way bigger and stronger than him, and you could beat him to a pulp, weren't it that Karkat warned you not to beat anyone again after the 'accident' a few years ago. It's kinda stupid and lame, but yeah, you won't do anything your Karbro doesn't like. Sollux has a strange look in his eyes and at first you think maybe he's gonna apologize, but the opposite is true.

"Hi, GZ, I noticed your hostile attitude towards me, and I just thought I should let you know I'm really gonna win this. You don't stand a chance against me. I'm pretty sure I can get KK to like me, so I think it would be best if you took this shitty attitude of yours to somewhere away from us and just gave up already. I don't actually expect your stupid weedhead to get this, but just remember, in case your brain-cells decide to start working, that this win is mine to take. So see you later, bro."

You're furious, how dare he come to you with such a stupid speech. You have to fight the urge to punch him. But you know that would give him an advantage. So instead you take a deep breath.

"I think you're the one who's going to lose. Since Karbro ís practically already mine. And, tell the Strider kid that if he doesn't stop his scriptwriting for pussies, I'm gonna motherfuckin' beat the shit outta him."

You're pretty sure Sollux didn't come up with that himself, he may be a stupid motherfucker, trying to steal your Karbro, but he isn't the tough type. He is a bit, actually not a bit but really, a computer nerd, and he wears weird glasses, has a lisp and is obsessed with bees. Even though he has this type of personality he's got the worst taste in friends. Like the Dave Strider kid and more of those pretend-to-be-cool dipshit motherfuckers.

You can see a blush creeping to his ears and you grin. You've won this battle. Then he suddenly turns around so you can see he is also grinning. "Challenge accepted. You may seem like a tactless weed-addict, but I'm flattered to know you actually see me as a threat. There's no backing out now, ' cause, much like you, I fucking love that boy."

Your grin fades away as he turns around again and you realize he's really not to be underestimated, he's dared to challenge you, and everyone knows how violent you can get, so he really is a threat, or he has a few screws lose. You guess it's probably both, but he isn't the only nutcase. You can't snap yet, but if you'll need to, you're willing to go full berserk on him.

You're also really angry he brought up your use of drugs. You've tried stopping because Karkat didn't like it, but since you can be really explosive if you quit, you didn't want to risk it, may sound like a bad excuse, but you don't care as long as you can keep it a secret from your Karbro it should be alright. You shouted at him when you were all sober, and it kinda hurt you. You tried to drown the sadness away, but the only thing you could think of to help, was starting to use again.

You just hope Sollux will keep this a fair fight and won't tell Karkat. But you're still gonna let the motherfucker know who will be the winner, and the best way of doing that, is of course to win.

You're Sollux Captor, and at the moment all you can feel is adrenaline rushing through your body. You fucking dissed that scary clown of a best friend of your love of a lifetime, and you couldn't be more happy. You're still alive! It's a goddamn miracle! You were really afraid he would hit you, but none of the things you feared would happen happened.

It's a shame your love is yet an unrequited one, but you've only gotten good hints from KK, at least you think, so you can keep yourself from getting too anxious. You met Karkat the first day of high school, you already knew the building due to your big brother going to the same school, and Karkat looked quite lost and really cute. Too cute for his own good, you couldn't resist saying inside your head everytime you saw him after that first encounter.

You decided a cute friend on your first day wouldn't be a bad idea, so you showed him around and managed to get to know his school schedule, he followed most of the same classes as you, so you would be spending a lot of time together, and hell, you liked the sound of that. After you exchanged schedules he even gave you the sweetest smile you'd ever seen and said –you still remember the exact words- : "You'll be stuck with me for at least this year, and I really look forward to it, hope you do too." He tilted his head a little and looked up to look you in the eye, -he is a few inches smaller than you are, and it looks so cute when he looks up like that to look you in the eye.

Then a friend of his, whose name – which you learned a few seconds after that- turned out to be Gamzee Makara, came walking towards us. From the look he sent you, you immediately knew he would be your enemy. The moment Karkat saw Gamzee he yelled his name and turned into an adorable, frowning little ball of anger.

The other kids were a little startled when he started swearing and yelling at the big guy in front of him. He accused him of not being on time again and missing the first day at school, no wonder he had looked so lost. While a few kids quickly made their way to the exit, so they didn't have to see the end of his fit of rage, you couldn't stop thinking how adorable he looked while angry.

Suddenly the guy, you guess because of Karkat not stopping yelling at him, lifted the smaller male from the ground, ignoring Karkat's attempts to hit and kick him. He hold him under his armpits with stretched arms, and when Karkat finally stopped fighting a little, Gamzee pulled him into a hug, still not allowing the smaller's feet to touch the ground.

"Relax Karbro, who cares if I missed today? I'm here now, right?" You couldn't help feeling a bit disappointed, thinking this must be his boyfriend. Who else would hug him like that, or talk to him like that? But after Gamzee put Karkat down, Karkat came running to you.

"Just for your information, since I can see what you're thinking, no, he's not my boyfriend." He whispered it into your ear and while he was so close to you he put a little piece of paper in the pocket of your sweater. You felt a blush creeping onto your cheecks. He then quickly turned around and ran to Gamzee again.

Even though such a magical thing happened, you didn't get a chance, or the courage, to confess after that. And you noticed that Gamzee also really liked Karkat. Man, his attitude towards you was bad as hell. And the more time you spend with KK, the more GZ started to hate you.

But now, you've made a move in the game of chess that's your life, and by making the first move, you've gained the upper hand. And even though GZ can't be too familiar with the game, you won't take risks. You've got your strategies, you've got your goals. You have to beat the king and conquer the queen. How hard can that be?

You're Kankri Vantas and at the moment all that's on your mind is finding your little brother and his two best friends. You're almost jumping from excitement, but you can't let those emotions overrule you.

It's been a long time since you've been back home and the first thing you've heard on arrival is that your family has befriended the families of Karkat's friends and that they've decided to make plans together. And you've got the great task of telling the three boys.

As you arrive at their school, the first thing you notice is the empty halls. You wonder if they've already left, as you see Sollux in the hallway. You wave until he sees you and comes running towards you. You immediately ask about the whereabouts of the other two, he looks happy until you mention Gamzee, you sigh on the inside. You're not so stupid as to not notice what the two boys feel for your little brother and you also know your little brother is in fact too stupid to notice, or he is just too busy not noticing, which is also a form of stupidity.

"You just go get Karkat." You know it won't be a good idea to let him search for Gamzee. His face brightens a little and he immediately runs off, he quickly mentions where you'll probably be able to find Gamzee and then he's disappeared.

You go into the given direction and actually manage to not get lost ánd find Gamzee within the timespan of a short ten minutes. When you finally have everyone gathered you manage to get your enthousiasm back.

"Since we managed to gather here, and since your and my school have a seven-week-break coming, I'm happy to be able to let you know the splendid news of our parents deciding we're all going on a camping trip! To Europe! For all seven weeks!" You see them getting as enthousiastic as you are, until...

Gamzee and Sollux realize they will have to spend seven weeks together, in a tent, with nowhere to run off to when they get into a fight. And to top it off, they won't have any chances to make a move on Karkat, like they most likely originally planned to do this break. You're really glad about this. You may not be the best brother, but you are pretty concerned about his well-being. And you don't know how he would handle knowing his two best friends having special feelings for him.

Luckily Gamzee and Sollux can force a smile on their faces and act happy about spending so much time together. They are a bit happy to go with Karkat, of course. You know they now see you as a terrorist in their love lives, but if it's for your precious little brother, so be it.

You can't wait for the next seven weeks.


	2. Chapter 2 glares and hugs

You're Karkat Vantas, and you're super excited. You've just heard you're going on a camping trip with your best friends. There couldn't be a better way to spend your vacation!

After you said goodbye to Gamzee and Sollux, you rushed home. On the way home you were actually talking more than Kankri, a very rare thing to happen. You're thinking about everything you want to do and see.

You've always wanted to go to Europe, some of your favorite romcoms are from the countries you're going to visit. You want to see the Notre Dame, and Monmartre. You want to walk in the Alps and swim in the Seine. You want to visit Rome and all those beautiful romantic Italian cities. You want to finally see Wenen and Bern and Berlin. All those places you've always dreamt of. Your thoughts keep going to those places while you're trying to pack your bags.

Trying, because you can't seem to fit everything in your bags. Normally you would start kicking and punching the stupid bags, but your excitement won't let you. After an other hour you actually feel sorry for your bags. Whatever, they can't feel it anyway. Finally Kankri comes to your help and together you manage to get everything in. Content, you let yourself fall on the bed and immediately fall asleep.

You wake up from a heavy force suddenly pushing you into the matress, it's pretty uncomfortable and it squeezes the air out of you. You open your eyes to see Kankri on top of you. When he sees you're awake he starts screaming.

"Karkat, you've overslept! Wake up! O wait you're already awake. Get up! Quick! Quick! Sollux and Gamzee are already here by the way. Karkat you're incredibly late! Why are you staring at me like that?! Get out of your bed!" You sigh. You forget how tiring your brother can be.

"Kankri, one, I can't get up if you and your stupid weight are on top of me. Two, why didn't you wake me in a quieter way on an earlier time? Three, get of off me, now."

Kankri Quickly jumped of off the bed and apologized. You immediately got out of bed and put on some grey skinny jeans. You decide you first want to have breakfast before you'll shower and get fully dressed, so you walk towards the door only to find the same force as before keeping you from doing so.

"I thought you said I was late, asshat, so why are you stopping me, I'm hungry." You say with an angry undertone in your voice. Kankri quickly grabs a hoody from the floor and forces it over your head. You glare at him for a bit, but you still put on the sweater before you go downstairs.

Downstairs Sollux, Gamzee, their parents and your father are sitting around the table. "Shall we go discuss the details and leave the kids alone to talk about our vacation?" Your dad asks in a bored tone of voice. The parents walk into the living room and leave you, Kankri and your friends in the dinerroom.

After a minute of silence, in which you made yourself some breakfast, you notice the three other people in the room are intensively glaring at each other. Like they are trying to kill each other with their eyes. You eat in silence as you watch the tension getting thicker by the second.

"So... who's gonna sit next to who when we're on the plane? I think you should decide. I don't really care as long as I get to sit by the window." You ask awkwardly. You wanted to break the tension, but for at least a minute the silence continues.

Suddenly they stop their staring competition and even smile a bit. "Thanks KK, we'll think about it. Why don't you go get dressed?" Sollux stands up and walks to your seat. You also get up from your seat and he walks you to your room.

You're Gamzee Makara and you think it's really awkward and creepy how Kankri is glaring at you.

"Bro? You alright? Why're you staring like that? it's honestly kinda creepy bro." You don't know why you said it, and you kinda regret it afterwards, but you just couldn't take the tension anymore.

"Well, I'm alright, but I'm worried about Karkat. That's also the reason why I'm staring, and you know what I'm talking about." Kankri's voice is full of daggers. Kankri has always hated you because of you liking Karkat and you kinda figured this would happen, you've always been a little scared of him.

"So if that's the reason, why didn't you motherfuckin' go and stop Sollux from going to Karkat's room?" Your voice accidentally sounds a little annoyed. But when you see the surprised and scared look on Kankri's face, you can't hide a little smirk. He didn't even think of that. Darn, you didn't think of it either before. Quickly you get up and run after Kankri upstairs to Karkat's room.

You're Sollux and you've finally escaped the glare of Karkat's brother and being around Gamzee. Plus, you're in Karkat's room, normally you two go to your house, so this is the first time being in his room. This may sound kinda girly, but feels a bit special.

"Do you know why Kankri seemed to be angry at you and Gamzee? It's a bit weird, Kankri is never really angry." You can hear the pout in Karkat's voice. You look him in his beautiful red-brown eyes and try to think of an explanation without having to tell the truth. You know that after two years maybe you should finally tell him, but you're just so scared he'll reject you.

"Kankri was probaly cranky, o my god Kankri cranky, because we're invited to come camping but Cronus wasn't. The guy should confess already, don'tcha think?" You try to sound mocking, but you can't since you understand Kankri all to well. Darn.

You see the look on Karkat's face and as to be expected, you see sheer confusion, you hoped he wouldn't be as oblivious about who other people like, as he is with people liking him. You feel like face-palming, but you can resist the urge.

"Sorry, I thought you noticed." You say in a light voice, trying to take advantage of the situation and hug Karkat. "O I knew, I was just confused, because I thought you knew they've already been dating for half a year." So he is only oblivious when it comes to himself.

You suddenly feel an urge to just kiss him, you cup his head in your hands and... Kankri and Gamzee smack the door open and run inside the room. The last thing you see before you pass out is a red sweater and a purple shirt tackling you, so your head hits the floor with great force.

You're Kankri Vantas and you're hella (you scold yourself a little for swearing, but sometimes even you can't do without) glad you talked to Gamzee so you were able to tackle Sollux before he stole your little brother's first kiss. How does that bleep (you decide to censure yourself so you can curse without ruining your image as a perfect being) even dare! You trusted him (no you didn't), and this is what he does!

In the meantime, he's gained consciousness, but instead of letting him gain his floor again, you harshly grap his wrists and drag him out of the room. You smack the door closed so Karkat can't see how angry you are, you don't wanna scare the little guy.

"You insolent, stupid, idiotic, annoying good-for-nothing! WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING THERE?" You yell in his face, so he has to wipe a bit of your saliva off of his cheeks.

"You know, it's really selfish. You yourself are in a relationship, but you won't let your little brother engage in one, just because you're worried. Have you ever asked him if he wanted to be protected? So, fuck you. I don't care if you don't want this. Fuck you, you douchebag." You didn't expect Sollux to lash out on you like that, his face is bright-red and his breath is raging. You let go of his collar, which you unconsciously must have grabbed while you were so mad just a minute ago, and he gets up from the floor and walks back into the room, before he goes inside he gives you the finger.

You fucked up real bad. He's probably telling Karkat right now what a bad brother you are. And you think you kinda deserve it. You cover your face and try not to cry. You reach for your phone and quickly dial Cronus' number.

"What's up Kan?" You hear your boyfriend's voice reassuringly through the phone.

"You know what I told you about Karkat?"

"Yes of course, what's up with that? Did...?"

"No, what happened is that one of them tried to kiss Karkat and I flipped. I got really angry and now I'm afraid Karkat will be mad at me."

"Hey, relax babe, if necessary I will explain, but I think he is wise enough to understand you were only trying to do the right thing. Just calm down for now, I'll call him later, but now, get your cute little ass over here, I'll make you some delicious food, so I can say goodbye before you go on that unreasonably long trip."

"Thanks Cronus, hey? Why don't you come with us? If your parents will pay for your ticket, I'm sure my parents will be okay with it, it would be great to have you here."

"Ask your parents, I'll ask mine, argh, I'm so glad you asked me to come after all! I was already starting to fear I wouldn't see you for seven weeks... Ask them and then come! I have to see you!"

"Alright, alright. Calm down. I'll be right there. Bye Cro."

"Bye babe. "

You feel relieved after having talked to Cronus. He can seem really cold, but he is the sweetest boyfriend ever! Quickly you run to your father and ask him, he nods. "But tell him to bring his little brother, will be fun for the other little ones, and otherwise it would be unfair."

You sigh, Eridan can be super annoying. But for the sake of having Cronus there, you will be able to put up with the stupid hipster. Yeah, you just called him stupid and you won't take it back.

You put on your shoes and run (in a tolerable speed) to the Ampora household. Maybe this vacation will be fun after all.

You're Karkat and you don't know what to think of the situation at hand. Sollux is lying on your bed as a miserable ball of angriness, Gamzee is sitting in your chair drinking Faygo and laughing at Sollux for 'whining like a little bitch' and your brother is, actually you have no idea where your brother has ran of to since he stormed out of your room.

Tired you grab some clothes and walk to the bathroom. You go sit in the shower and let the water run over your shoulders.

After showering you put on an oversized grey shirt and black skinny jeans and go back to your room. You go lie down next to Sollux and sigh, in just another three hours you will be on the airport. After Kankri getting into a fight with Sollux you don't know if the vacation will be that much fun after all... and Gamzee and Kankri also don't seem to be on the best of terms... Almost unconsciously you snuggled up to Sollux while thinking about the whole situation. Afraid Gamzee will get angry again you quickly get back up and start walking circles on the carpet. You notice the worried expressions on your friends' faces, so you sit down on the edge of the bed.

"Sorry, it's just, Kankri never gets angry... I'm just a little worried I guess. I don't want him to be mad at you two, you are my best fucking friends! But I don't wanna be mad at him either..." Your voice sounds pathetic, like you're on the brink of tears, which you are. You quickly wipe them away.

Suddenly both of your friends hug you, it makes you happy again and so before you know, it tears of happiness are running down your cheeks. You try to hide them, but they see it and just start hugging you harder. You have the best of friends after all...

"Karkat, everything may have been confusing, but we're just gonna have an awful motherfucking lot of fun this vacation. Okay?" Gamzee says softly. The words calm you down, together with the fact that even though they acted like they didn't like each other, they're still both hugging you.

"Yeah, let's make this the best vacation ever!"

Meanwhile, Cronus has managed to convince his father to let him and Eridan go with the others. As Eridan hears the news he quickly starts packing. He smirks to himself. Hell, this is gonna be fun.


	3. Chapter 3 planes and surprises

**A/N: I want to thank MiyukoLove for reviewing the last chapter, it really helped me with writing this chapter. I hope you will enjoy it!**

You're Karkat Vantas and although you wanted to have the sit at the window, your fear of heights won't let you enjoy the view as the plane takes off. After some arguments, the person next to you is Eridan Ampora, the only one you really didn't want to sit next to. Not because you think he is a jerk, you know very well there are many people who think the same about you since you're angry most of the time, but because he always steals your food. Really immature. Even now, he's stealing the food you got from the steward. You try to punch him, but your father sends you a warning glare.

"Eridan, I would really appreciate it if I would actually be able to eat some food, I'm pretty fucking hungry." You try to be nice, but you can't control your swearing, it's become too much of a habit.

"I'm like a prince compared to you, so why do you think you have any right to eat the food?" Yeah, he should really come down of off his high-horse. You sigh, you don't want to beg yet.

"Eridan, give Karkat his food. Or else I will punch your stupid glasses in your face so you won't ever be able to take 'em off." Just before you consider to beg for your food, Sollux comes to your help. Eridan grumbles and hands you a piece of bread. Thankful you look in Sollux' direction. He sits in between Cronus and Kankri. You really feel sorry for the guy, the couple tries to be lovey-dovey and just ignores the fact there's a person between them.

You fell asleep after an hour and when you wake up, your head is lying on Eridan's lap. The look he gives you, one full of disgust, makes you sit up quickly. You wonder why he didn't wake you immediately. He shows you his phone as he sees the wonder on your face. There are two text messages:

 **If YoU mOtHeRfUcKiNg DaRe To WaKe HiM...**

Reads the first one, of course Gamzee.

 **Iif you wake him you know you're goiing two diie. The gla22e2, remember about the gla22e2.**

The second, a message of Sollux. You recognize the messages because of the weird way they type. But it was really to be expected. They always seem so protective of you. You really wonder why.

You go to sleep again, but this time you make sure to lean against the window.

You wake up because a voice says the plane is landing, you've reached the airport of Paris, well not quite yet, but almost. You sigh relieved, you don't really like the idea of being so high in the sky. When you feel the bumps of the plane, because of it landing, you feel fear rising up your stomach. This is why you don't fly.

Eridan sees your fear but doesn't look too eager to calm you down. However, he does call out to Sollux to switch seats so Sollux can do it for him. Gamzee glares at Sollux, but Sollux ignores it, until, Gamzee trips him while walking in our direction. He is about to kill Gamzee, but a fly attendant stops him from doing so. So Sollux quickly makes his way to me and switches seats with Eridan. I'm really glad I am now sitting next to a real friend...

As we continue making our way to the ground, Sollux comforts me, first he just awkwardly pats my back, but when the plane decides to suddenly fall a few meters to the ground, I hug him tightly and won't let go anymore, so he cuddles with me until the plane is finally on the ground. Sollux breath was really calming and for some reason I still feel the soft motion of air caused by it against my cheek, it feels strangely reassuring.

You're Gamzee and hell did Sollux piss you off back there on the plane. Why did that motherfucker Eridan ask for Sollux to do it in the first place? The stupid hipster KNOWS your feelings and even if that wouldn't convince him, he must be aware of the fact of you and Karkat being best friends sinds you weren't even able to speak. Right?!

Frustrated you kick against a few bins. Suddenly you realize something. This can't continue like this. If this continues, you're going to kill Sollux or do something else that would ruin your whole life. Especially now you're all sober for seven weeks. It's so stupid, why does your mind ruin everything for you?

After your group has finally reached the side of the airport where they rent cars, Eridan comes walking up to you. "Gamz, you seriously need to get a haircut, it is almost a crime how it looks..." You're so used to his bitching about your hair, you don't notice the smirk on his face. It is not his usual smug look, but a sly one.

Like he's got someone up his sleeve, it's only after he's passed you a note. He places a finger in front of his lips. "Don't tell anyone what I just told you... it's our little secret...'' He then walks away, to Cronus and Kankri.

You honestly don't know what to think of it. You don't really think it's a good idea to read the note in the airport, so you quickly put it in your pocket. You're just in time, Karkat comes walking to you with a curious look on his face.

"What did Eridan want from you? Or are you suddenly friends now?" He tries to sound mean, but he fails miserably. It is really fucking adorable how curious he sounds. You smile and are immediately able to forget about what happened on the plane. "Nothing Karbro, he was just telling me how awful my hair looks. I told him to quit his motherfucking bitching and he left."

He smiles with a certain sparkle in his eyes you can't really place. He then grabs your arm and pulls you in a direction that isn't the direction of anyone you know. Where is he taking you? He stops running when you're out of the sight of everyone and starts to giggle uncontrollably. He collapses to the floor from the laughing and it really makes you wonder why.

"Why are you all motherfucking up and giggling like you just saw the fucking funniest thing in the universe?" Now you're the one who is curious. "I don't know Gamzee, I just really felt like laughing, with you." A warm feeling takes control of you. You look at his beautiful smile. It makes you think about your stupid behavior from the last months, why are you even bickering with Sollux all the time?

It's stupid and pointless, you haven't even asked Karkat's opinion so far, he doesn't even know why you're fighting all the time. The thoughts send a sudden outburst of laughter through you and seconds later you're on the floor with Karkat, laughing so much your legs couldn't hold you anymore. You're enjoying every second of it. You wish you could have more moments like this with Karkat, and after that you'd... no, you can't have thoughts like that! First, you have to tell him.

After the two of you calm down, a sudden urge comes to you and before you know it, you have his hand in your hands and you kiss him. It feels great to finally give in to the thing you've been wanting to do for years, and for one beautiful moment he kisses you back, but then he forcefully pushes you away. He has a shocked look in his eyes and he quickly gets up and runs away.

After he's left you can't stop punching your forehead. How stupid could you be! Of course he would be shocked if his best friends suddenly kissed him! Shit, you've really ruined it now.

You're Sollux and you're getting really bored of Eridan nagging at your head. It almost seems like he can't stop spouting crap. He and Kankri should hang out more often... they would probably drive each other crazy, but it's better than driving others crazy like they're doing now. Of course Cronus just finds it adorable that Kankri can be so excited talking, that he forgets to shut up, but it doesn't mean the rest of the world likes it. And Eridan is just an insufferable prick. And most of the time even his family doesn't disagree if you try to state that. But Eridan just doesn't give a shit.

Suddenly you notice Karkat and Gamzee aren't with the rest of the group. You excuse yourself and go looking for Karkat. It's a real shame Eridan follows you, saying he's also 'really worried about little Kar, since he sure knows how to get lost'.

"Sollux, I have to ask you something. Why don't you nor Gamzee tell Karkat how you feel? I mean, it's been two years, for Gamzee probably even longer, and you can't say he doesn't seem interested at all... so why do you two torture yourself so much?" Even though he says it in his usual tone, and his stupid accent, there is a bit of seriousness in his voice.

"Wouldn't he just freak out? I mean, how would you react? Even though the chances of someone liking you are zero, but hypothetically, if." He gives you an angry look, but soon gets back to his usual self. "I would indeed be shocked, but I would least be able to give it a thought. And with his naive self I don't think you can expect him to figure it out all himself. He's been friends with Gamzee since, like, kindergarten, and Gamzee has done everything in his power to show his love for Kar, but he doesn't get it."

You sigh, how can such an annoying person know this kinds of things? You have to admit he's right. "But I'm scared..." "Do you want me to tell him? Cause if you tell him by the end of today, I will." He gives you his smug look again and you know you've lost and he's right.

Suddenly Karkat comes running in your direction, tears falling from his eyes. When he sees you he quickly pulls you into a hug and starts sobbing in your shirt. Eridan gives you a wink, you answer it with an angry look but quickly go back to tending to your little Karkat. You hear Eridan walking away and when he's gone you loosen your grip a bit and look him in the eye with a really worried feeling in your stomach. What has Gamzee done?

"Hey, what happened? You can tell me." He lets out a few hiccups, but then looks back at you and you wipe away the tears.

"It's Gamzee... we were just laughing and having fun, and then he suddenly... he, he kissed me. And I don't know what to do or think! It's just so confusing!" You're shocked by what he tells you, you make a mental note to kill the juggalo. How does he even dare! Making Karkat cry!

'At least he wasn't such a pussy like you and did something!' A little voice in the back of your head can't keep silent. You caress his back and can't suppress a sigh. Not of boredom or annoyance, but of not sharing this feeling you're feeling for this long, one of worry about the person before you and above anything a of love for the person.

"Don't worry KK, he will explain. I'm sure. Everything will be okay." He hugs you again and buries his face in your chest. He can now probably hear how damn nervous you are.

"I wanted to tell you something KK, but I'm not sure if this is the right moment." He tightens his grip on you a little. "I'm alright now, thanks to you, so please tell me." You can't suppress a smile, his caring side is what makes him so perfect. He could be just cute, or just pretty, or just any of his other good traits, but he also really cares about people. Sometimes even forgetting to think about his own needs.

You're Cronus and you're proud with your little brother but at the same time you're incredibly angry. The stupid kid can't now meddle with other people, can he? At the same time you're proud because he managed to get business going. You couldn't stand watching those kids like that any longer... it was maddening. Kankri was also always worried and talking about it, so you couldn't talk to him without the topic becoming 'I'm so worried about my little brother, his best friends are both hitting on him'. Sometimes you really wanted to slap Kankri for bringing it up again, but then again, how could you ever hurt Kankri? You love him way too much to do something like that.

Like the way he's sitting on your lap right now, the cute look on his face. His hand holding yours loosely. All those things just make your heart race. When Eridan comes walking back, a worried look starts to show on Kankri's face. "Eridan, where is Karkat?" You know he was with Sollux to tell him he has to tell Karkat he loves him, but obviously you haven't told Kankri.

"He's with Sollux, he was crying so I left them alone." When I see the shock on Kankri's face I try to calm him down by caressing his back, but he just tenses. "Babe, I'm sure he'll be OK." "No Cronus, it won't be okay! It's Karkat we're talking about! He's way too vulnerable and I'm sure that... argh... will take advantage of it! It won't be okay!" You're actually a bit shocked at how angry he sounds.

"ERIDAN! HOW COULD YOU EVEN!" He keeps screaming at Eridan. "Kankri, please calm down, you can't do anything if you're so upset. I will check up on Karkat. Eridan, where are they?" You decide it would be best if Kankri didn't face Sollux while in such a state and above all, it would be better if Karkat wouldn't have to see his brother like this.

You're Eridan and you're really happy you're so smart. It was about time something happened. You study Kankri's nervous breakdown with a calm attitude, you don't even care about the insults he keeps screaming at you. Your plan is perfect. You're Eridan Ampora, you don't try, you succeed.

You're Sollux and you're about to say the most difficult words you will ever say.

"Karkat, what I wanted to tell... Karkat I love you."


	4. Chapter 4

You're Karkat and hell, you don't know what to do. You went for a walk, but you've totally lost all sense of direction, your phone is dead and you feel like shit. You feel depressed and annoyed, this is not what you imagined it to be.

 _"Everyone may go their own way. Be at the hotel at five, don't forget your phone. Don't cause a ruckus. Please." Your father sounds really exhausted announcing the plans for the day. As soon as you are allowed to go, you run off. Avoiding having to go somewhere with Sollux or Gamzee, this may seem very childish, but you want to think things through before you talk to them. After a few minutes you've already lost your way. You continue to wander through the city, but don't see anything you recognize. You check your phone, only to discover the battery is dead. You decide to just walk throught the city, you must find someone of your group before nightfall. You sigh, the city of love is suddenly very lonely_

Your feet are starting to hurt. The pavement hot and hurts your feet even through your shoes. "May I ask you something?" Suddenly a voice reaches out to you. You quickly turn around, now facing a blonde male with strange orange sunglasses and a orange t-shirt.

"Yes, of course." You don't want to be impolite, and it's now been three hours since you've talked to someone, not knowing French.

"Do you know how to get to this address?" The stranger held a little note with the address of your hotel out. "That's the address to my hotel!" You're so happy to find someone heading for the same direction.

"Great! How do I get there?" Suddenly the situation becomes clear. He is just as lost as you are. "I'm lost too." You say it with a tone of embaressment ringing through your voice and a stupid smile on your face. You want to stop smiling, but it seems it is plastered on your face, dammit.

"Then we can look for it together, come!" He sounds just a bit too happy about being lost as he hooks his arm through yours, draggning you to the street corner. "Wait a minute!" You huff loudly, a little annoyed but above all, tired. "I don't know anything about you!" I was looking for an excuse to stand still, but when I say it I realize it's true.

"I'm Dirk Strider, 18 years old, I am from Texas but have lived in Denmark since I was five. I am 6.1 feet and I love spaghetti." The boy kept rambling facts about himself, his face stoic, it made Karkat a little uncomfortable. Why did he tell him all this? Suddenly Karkat realized something, the boy before you has the same surname as that douche in your class, Dave.

"Are you by any chance, family of Dave Strider?" You can't keep yourself from wondering, so you give yourself permission to ask. "Yes, I'm his cousin. How do you know him?" "He's a classmate of mine." Dirk sends you a cheeky grin, as if he knows someone you don't. "Well, you know everything about me, so now, tell me everything about you. Let's see what rumors I've heard about you."

You blush, you don't know what Strider could have told him, but you suddenly feel incredibly self-conscious. "My name is Karkat Vantas, I'm 17 years old, I live in the US. I'm short and I like rom-coms, which is a very girly hobby, but I don't care, so don't you dare make a comment about it."

"Sooooooo, Karkat. Dave told me you are quite ignorant. Your best friends are in love with ya? Something like that?" You immediately get angry, how dare he talk about such emotional problems only hours after you've realized you had them?

You slap him in the face, ready to walk away as fast as humanly possible, but he grabs your wrist. His grip is like steel, so you don't even try to fight it. "It's not your problem, so why don't you just fuck off?" Your voice sounds an octave higher than it normally does and it's eating from the power you intended to give your statement.

"Relax little dude, I just wanted to say, I don't judge you or anything, and I get it must be shitty. Seems like you ate your whole lower lip brooding on it! I want to help you if possible. You seem like a nice guy." His voice is incredibly nice, so you decide to just surrender. In an impulse you wrap your arms around his waist, pulling him into a hug. To your surprise he hugs back. "Alright little dude, say _farvel_ to worries and come with me. Let's sort those feelings out."

He pats you on the back and you just stand there for a moment until you feel like it's been long enough. "Ok, so how did you plan to do that?" He points to the sky. His finger circling like they are looking for a target to point at. Suddenly he stops the movement, but you still can't see what he's pointing at.

"The Eiffel tower."


	5. Chapter 5 lovely views and panic

"The Eiffel tower? What do you want to do there?" You know the tower from your favorite movies, but you don't have a clue as to how that tower could possibly help you.

"This is the fucking city of love, and that tower is the centre of it! I thought you'd know that... I mean, with your rom-coms and stuff. Why else would a handsome person like me come to this county? It's not like I like traveling..."

You can't help but look at him like a true cynic. He is nice, but he seems like an idiot. A smart idot, but still, an idiot. "Okay, I guess. I haven't got anything better to do..."

"That's what I wanted to hear! Come on then! Get those little legs moving, and tell me everything that happened while we're walking!" He grabs you arm again and starts walking, your feet still hurt, but you see no use in opposing this strong lad.

You procede walking, and talking. After an hour you can't feel your feet anymore, you also can't keep your focus. After five more minutes of barely being able to stand, you collapse on the sidewalk. "Karkat? You awake?" His foot is nudging you side, it is incredibly annoying as you were trying to sleep.

"Yeah I'm awake, but my feet won't allow me to walk any further, so if you still want to go to that tower, you will have to carry me." You are being sarcastic, but he just shrugs and mumbles an "Okay," before he picks you up and positions you on his back, nobody has ever given you a piggy ride before, so you find it kinda scary.

"Don't worry Karkitty." He says as if he can read your mind, and he is using the name Nepeta uses for you. "I think Dave mentioned that nickname. Said he thought it was cute for an angry guy like you. Haven't seen anything of the angry part yet, though. Only the cute part."

"Could you refrain from reading my mind?" You can't help grinning, you've always wanted to have one of these conversations where it seems like the other can read your mind. "Am not, I am just really good at guessing." You can almost picture the smug Strider grin he has on his face, in protest to him grinning like that you wrap your arms around his neck in a tight grip. Almost strangling him.

"I will stop reading your mind if you will stop strangling me. Nothing comes for nothing buddy." His voice sounds like he's choking, but a laugh sounds through it, so you also laugh. Aloud this time. "Don't stop reading my mind. I like it." He softly squeezes your ankles and suddenly you realize he's really chokinng. You quickly let go and when he takes a deep breath you can't keep the giggles in you stomach, they are escaping at a rapid rate. He's also started laughing. It's truly delightful, the heavy feeling that taunted you is now fully gone.

It is only after ten minutes that you realize you are standing in front of the Eiffel tower. It is breath-taking, so impressive is the building. You are still gazing at the building as you notice Dirk has set off to buy tickets to go inside the huge building. You also notice your wallet is gone. He saunters back to you and hands you your candy-red wallet.

"Dude, what if I hadn't been the awesome me? Your wallet would have been gone, you need to watch your things, little one. And as a matter of fact, I paid for my own ticket AND half the prize of yours. You are allowed to worship the awesome me, but not in public please, not everyone has to know how breath-takingly awesome I am."

I through another fit of laughter, because he sounds so dumb and just plain stupid, with his huge grin and his huge sunglasses that have fogged up from the heat. "What's so funny? Am I finally goddamn serious..." He doesn't sound serious at all, if anything, he sounds like he is a huge fan of self-mockery.

I wipe the fog off of his glasses and quickly grab the tickets from his hand since he's dropped his guard. "Who is the idiot now?" You yell at him as you run inside the building, he quickly follows you. "Karkaaaat! Don't run awaaaaay from meeee!" You hear in the distance. He catches up to you in no time. Not like you really tried to escape. You are so damn glad you met him today. If only he could stay with you the whole vacation.

He has his fingers tangled in yours, taking his respective ticket with the other hand. "Well little buddy, should I punish you for making me carry you all the way to the goddamn Eiffel tower and then running away from me? What do you think?" He whispers the words softly into your ear. His low voice sending a shiver through your spine. But just as you think he is going to kiss you (which you just realize you actually really want), he makes a pirouette and walks in the direction of the ticket control. Handing his ticket over to the lady standing in front of the door.

You quickly follow, your heart still racing. Shit, you like this boy with weird glasses more than you want to admit. You've only know his for a few hours, but you already feel so close to him. As you make your way through the museum, he takes your hand in his. Your hands are sweaty, but you couldn't care less.

Hell, this makes your decision a hella lot easier.

"See, the Eiffel tower is great to solve problems of love." You have finally reached the top of the tower, the view is incredible, just like in the movies. It is exactly like one of your favorite scenes. He turns around to face you, his arms around your waist, he brings his face closer to yours.

"Get away from him, you sick pervert!" Shit.

You're Gamzee and you're hella pissed. You've been thinking and hurting over what to do, you've got bruises from releasing nerves. And now, some random dude is attacking Karkat, trying to molest him. The hell?! How does he even dare?!

"Am not!" The pervert screams at you. Holding his weird pointy sunglasses up his nose with one finger. He's released his grip on Karkat, so you quickly grab your small friend by the wrist and push him behind you, you have to protect him. You'll kill this guy, he doesn't even know shit.

"How do you even dare trying to pull that shit?! You don't know him enough to deserve him, you haven't gone through enough pain, enough misery, to deserve being in his presence!" You scream at the top of your lungs, the stranger flinches a bit, his eyes directed at something behind you, you look at Karkat, he has shrinked into a little ball on the floor. Sobs make his body shudder. You sent a glare of pure hatred to the other guy.

"Not my fault you've got cuts on your arms, not my fault you didn't dare to tell him you like him. Not my fault dude, please sort out your own business, cause it sure as hell 'aint mine. Now please get away from Karkat, you're scaring him." The stranger's voice is enragingly calm. The bastard doesn't know, does he? He doesn't know. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. He doesn't know.

"No 's your fault." You whisper it just about hard enough so he can hear the bloodthirst in your voice. You claw at your wrists, drawing small streams of blood with your long nails. He tries to walk past you, but you push him away with one swift motion. Then you proceed to lift Karkat from the ground. You tenderly hold him in your arms, fighting to keep the rage inside. You bite at your lips till the flesh is raw. The small boy is shivering in your arms. Clawing at your shirt, his small nails digging in the flesh of your stomach.

"I won't let you take him. Gamzee, let him go." The hell? How does the stranger know your name? You try to ignore him, but fail miserably as he digs the side of his hand into you side, trying to hit your kidneys. But you're used to more than just that, you're used to pain goddammit. So you don't collapse. Instead you make a 180 turn while kicking in the air, hitting the guy in the stomach, his sunglasses fall off and the look of surprise in his face is priceless. You hit him again, this time on his chest, the cracking you hear is certainly satisfying.

"Never come near him again, you hear me? If your life means anything to you, stay the motherfucking hell away." You are glad you've dealt with that, now you can get the hell away before he gets the cops or something. "Gamzee?" You suddenly hear a whisper from below. The voice sounds broken, more than you want it to. "Yes?" You sound hopeful, hopeful he's okay. "Gamz, what happened? Everything hurts." He sounds so fucking vulnerable, how could you allow him to go out alone, he needs a friend to take care of him, always has.

"Everything is going to be okay Karbro, I'm here now." Suddenly his comment of everything hurting gets through to you, in your anger you've been holding onto him way too tight. His skin is already bruising from the strength you can normally control, you beg for it to not be true, but the blue patches of skin are too clear. Fuck, fuck, fuck. You immediately relax, but he tenses up. "Gamzee, where is Dirk? Where is he?!" His voice is panicky and his eyes have widened to an unreasonable size.

"Dirk, who is Dirk?" You just hope he isn't the guy you've just beaten up.

You're Sollux and since you've lost track of Gamzee a few minutes ago, you've been all over the place to find him. He was acting too nervous, scratching his arms, biting his lips till they bled. You're actually kinda worried. You are scared something might have happened to him, you hate him, but not that much. His brother is helping you look for him, he also seems really worried, which is only fucking nerve-breaking. Where can a guy that big have gone off to? With his height he shouldn't be hard to find, right?

"Kurloz, I think we need to split up. Maybe even let the others know he's disappeared." It sounds stupid, I mean, Karkat also has gone off on his own, but somehow you trust him to make sure he's alright. You've seen bruises and cuts on the juggalo and you're kinda scared he's more self-destructive than he wants to admit. Shit, fuck, this sucks ass.

The older Makara brother nods to you, he types something on his phone and sends the message, super quick, after all, he's used to having to type shit, he can't talk. He is still really good at conversing and you've always wanted to talk to him more. He's the best friend of your brother so you should probably get to know him better. Suddenly you see something large and purple in the corner of your eye, you immediately begin to persecute the person, better try than do nothing with the chance it was him.

After a few minute sprint it turns out it was a pickpocket, he'd been pickpocketing near the Eiffel tower and got caught. He stopped at a dead end and begged you not to call the cops, he began rattling about stuff you don't care about, but you feel obliged to hear him out. After hearing his life story and how much he regrets pickpocketing, you decide to take a look at the famous building the man mentioned. You text the rest, just in case they are interested in coming with you.

After fifteen minutes you've reached the steel building. Just when you arrive, Gamzee comes out of the exit. In his arms is a crying Karkat. Shock comes over you, what has the juggalo done? You know you have to keep your composure, but it scares you to think what could have happened. The small creature in his arms is hysterically spouting sentences at the other, making sure you won't be able to keep your composure. You see Gamzee has noticed you and suddenly tightens his grip on Karkat so he is forced to keep his face in Gamzee's shirt, Gamzee also roughly covers the smaller's ears.

"Solbro. I'll kill you if you don't go away right now. I'm fucking serious." Instead of leaving, you calmly walk up to him. The blow on your jaw that follows, comes out of nothing and makes you see stars, the moment you look up, he's taken off, Karkat still in his arms. You cannot believe how fast you manage to write a message to Kurloz, Cronus and Kankri. You hold a hand over your jaw, it pains you to know Gamzee probably didn't mean evil, but you've got no other choice than to stop his fit with violence now.

The beeping from your phone takes your attention away from your jaw.

You're Kankri and your so upset right now, you can't even begin to stress how upset you are. Cronus tries to hug you to comfort you, but you push him away, you can't bear the thought of you getting comforted while your little brother is in danger.

You have called Sollux, wanting to know more. Your hands shake as you hold the phone. In the end, Cronus has to hold it for you, you kept letting the object fall on the warm stone of the pavement you're sitting on. Cronus decided it would be better for you to sit down. Sollux voice through the phone calms you down at first, but when he explains what happened, you're heart drops.

"He's taken off with Karkat, he's now god knows where. Some guy came up to me, he said he'd seen everything. He told me he knows Karkat."

"Okay Sollux, can you skip back time in your story and tell me exactly what happened?" Cronus says after the rambled explanation Sollux first gave. He puts the phone on his ear and turns away so you can't hear what Sollux is saying. You feel tears prickling in the corners of your eyes.

"Kankri, do you know a guy named Dirk? He says he is good friends with Karkat." Cronus asks cautiously, you want to tell him you're not made of glass and he can just talk normally, but you aren't able to state that, you would be lying. "No I don't." Your voice sounds painfully lacerated. It makes you want to tape your mouth shut.

Cronus' expression suddenly gets dark. He hugs you again, but this time you want nothing more, so you allow it.

"Gamzee is not a bad guy. We can't do that." Cronus holds the phone between us so we can both hear what the person on the other side of the line is saying.

"We have to stop him, he is confused, he may not be a bad guy or actually want to do any of this, but that just makes him more dangerous, it means he can't do anything about it. He could harm himself or Karkat. We have to take him out by force, we'll come up with a solution after that, but first we have to make sure he can do neither of those things. Alright? Do you understand? We don't have a choice. Or do you want to see one of them injured or worse?"

You've never heard Sollux being so mature and serious, normally you would be angry because he's younger than both of you, to talk to you like that is just unacceptable, but now you admire his strength.

"Okay, we agree with the plan. Tell us your exact location, we'll get Kurloz and then we'll come to you. Stay where you are." Cronus is also so strong, you wish you could be strong. Sollux tells you his location and then Cronus ends the conversation.

"Kankri, can you stand? We have some work to do."


	6. Chapter 6

You're Karkat and hell you're scared. The room you're in is nearly dark, a small light comes from under the door. You hear voices in the hallway, two of the voices belong to Gamzee, he is switching between wanting to bring you back to the rest and apologizing to everyone and never going back. A while ago he was even planning to go back to kill the others, but the third voice, the voice of a man you don't know, stopped him.

He told Gamzee it wasn't a good idea, that they could get back at them later, and Gamzee listened. You were fairly surprised he immediately listened to the man, you are really curious as to why he did.

It's been a few hours now, your legs hurt from sitting in the same position for too long, but you don't feel like moving. You tried to search for a way out, you tried to scream, but none of it worked. The only thing you got was an angry Gamzee, trying to convince you it was for your own good. Like hell you're going to believe that.

Sure, Gamzee may think it is better for you, but you don't want to spend another second in this small room, you wouldn't even let a dog live here, why the hell do you have to sit here? It stinks like piss and the air is thick and moist. The walls and floor are concrete, with small imperfections cutting your skin and hurting your butt and back.

Small drops of water fall from the wooden ceiling, but none of it has fallen onto you yet. The voices are getting louder with the second now, Gamzee is screaming hysterically, and the other man is shouting at him to keep calm. Suddenly the door swings open, the light is almost blinding so you have to squeeze your eyes shut, when you open them, the large figure of a man in his mid-twenties stands before you. His hair is chocolate brown, his eyes a bright green, he wears glasses and a black outfit.

"Kid, stand. Now." You obey the man, afraid he'll hurt you if you don't. The large scar in his neck scares the shit outta you, what if he is a serial killer or something? "Good, now strip, I need those clothes." Your eyes almost plop out of your head, why the hell does he need your clothes? You decide to be your defiant self and glare back at him.

"Boy, how stupid are you really. It wasn't a question or anything, so fucking obey me you dipshit. You are not some fucking princess or something so come of off that high horse." His face is really close to yours, small drops of saliva land on your cheeks. You wipe them of, but still don't show any sign of planning to follow his orders.

"Why the hell should I follow your orders? You are the dipshit here you know. I don't give a fuck." He grins creepily as you say it. The courage you mustered up to say what you just said is suddenly gone. "Okay, then we play by your rules. You should care, because if you don't and keep disrespecting me with that sorry ass of yours, I'll beat you to a pulp and rape you till your insides are on the outside, is that enough?" From the crazed look in his eyes you have to come to the conclusion he isn't lying.

You give him a last glare and then start by taking off your shoes, then jacket, shirt, trousers, till you are left in your underwear. "What are you even going to do with my clothes?" You ask out of curiosity and also because you are a bit afraid of what is going to happen.

"I'm going to let a guy throw them in a container at the other side of town, covered in blood. Is that enough of an answer?" Your eyes widen, this dude is sneakier than you expected. "That means I will also need everything. Hope you get my drift princess." You grab a thin blanket from the floor and wrap it around you before taking the rest off.

"Ah, how cute. Well, hope you have much fun in here till we figured out what to do with ya." He turns around and leaves the room, tears well up in the corners of your eyes. Shit, this was so not what you expected this vacation to be.

You're Gamzee and you're stressed out of your mind. You've walked to the bathroom and from the bathroom to the door that separates you from Karkat several times now. Jack is getting annoyed with you, but you don't care, he may be a murderer and older than you, you know you can fight him if necessary, that's how you two met after all.

In the bathroom lies a razor blade, the one moment you want to cut yourself, the next you desperately want to hurt your Karbro with it. It is sick, but you can't get the thoughts out of your aching head.

"Here, his clothes, I'm going to get goat's blood from the butcher, you wait here. And don't do anything stupid, if you do I'm going to scratch your face open till I can see inside your skull, got it?" You just nod, that dude is so cranky all the time, you've already stopped paying attention to it. You grab the bundle of clothes, it smells like Karkat, a delicious smell. But underneath that is Jack's salty smell, it stings your nose, so disgusting is it.

"Alright dude, I'll watch the little dude and won't do anything stupid." "Great. Oh, and I forgot to give him different clothes, you know where I keep them right?" You nod and turn around, his room is at the other end of the hall. You hear a metal sound behind you, but decide to ignore it. You open the drawer, but only find large suits and black dresses. Luckily there is underwear in Karkat's size, and he can wear one of the blouses, but there aren't any trousers that would fit him, so you decide some sweatpants will do. You make your way downstairs to the basement where you locked Karkat in.

"Karbro, I got ya some clothes." You shout before opening the door. The room is dark, but the lights from upstairs give enough light to see everything in the room. Wrapped in a blanket in the corner closest to you, is Karkat. You lock the door and get a flashlight, you can't risk him escaping. Carefully you make your way to the shuddering pile of blankets.

He didn't notice you, so you decide to take a corner of the blanket and pull at it a bit, suddenly Karkat's head peeks over the edge and he makes eye-contact. You notice he's covered in goose-bumps, so you decide it's best to let him get dressed first before you talk to him. You give him the clothes and make your way to the door, you keep staring at the door until you're sure Karkat is fully dressed, you don't want him to think you're some sorta pervert.

The clothes are way too big for him, he looks ridiculous, but it's also kind of cute. A light blush covers his face and makes you smile a bit.

"So fuckass, why am I here and what's going to happen?"

You're Dirk and you are definitely missing something. It echoes through your body and makes your heart ache, not to be near Karkat. You started gathering information about him the second Dave mentioned him, you felt a strong connection and in a few years you were head over heels for the small boy, and even though he's only met you a few hours ago, you have the feeling will soon be mutual. Stupid of course, but you hope hoping will eventually get you what you want.

Now however is not the time to hope, it is time to take action. Karkat has been missing for a few hours now and the other boys even decided it was necessary to tell their parents. Well shit happens you guess. You don't like adults very much and don't plan to ever really become one. Not like Peter Pan or some stupid fairy tale, but like the cool teenage kid you are.

The pain in your chest exists of guilt for not being able to protect Karkat. It's tearing you apart, until Dave told you about him, you were never able to love someone, or even harbor feelings of liking someone or even of caring for someone in the least, but he lightened up your world, he filled your empty heart. Still, you let him be kidnapped.

"Dirk? You coming? We're going to search for them." Sollux voice awakes you from your thoughts, you've never met anyone with a lisp before, so it's a pain to get used to it. You tend to take over other people's accents and things they do when talking and you don't want to embarrass Sollux by also starting lisping, he would think you are making fun of him.

"Okay, just wait a second!" You say, you quickly write a note for Karkat and leave it on the door of the hotel room just in case he'll get back here. "Here I am! Let's go!" You try to sound optimistic but your voice is as stoic as ever. You are a failure at intonation.

An hour later you've reached a small alley at the edge of the city. You're dead-tired from all the walking and climbing in trees to have a better view. You sit down next to a container you'll check once you've rested enough. Sollux is walking in circles before you, you tried to get him to relax but he didn't listen at all, instead starting to walk faster, mumbling "Kk, Kk, Kk, where are you Kk?" Again and again.

"Dude, you aren't going to find him by keeping up this stupid behavior." You say, tired of his constant mumbling and walking. "It's not like you are contributing anything to the search!" He lashes out at you. "Dude, chill for a moment, I'm also scared and nervous and shit, but that ain't gonna find Karkat."

He tries to sit down on the ground but quickly gets up again, hands in his hair, walking small circles at a fast pace. "Okay, we are going to take your fear," You say as you make a grabbing movement. "And throw it in the trash-aaaaaaah!"

What you see makes you screech and jump away from the container. In it are bloodied clothes and you don't know if you saw it right or if it is paranoia, but you feel like you know those clothes.

"Don't be such a sissy, let me see, can't be that bad. O, SHIT!" He also looks in the container and the utterly shocked look in his eyes tells you your suspicion was right, you still have the urge to make a snarky remark to him for not having any common sense if he thinks you being scared of a container doesn't prove the content must be something gruesome, but the current situation doesn't seem right for such an act.

"Were those?" "No, impossible." "But..." You continue arguing until Sollux decides to look again, to confirm or rule out the possibility of it being Karkat's clothes. The outcome will tell us the chances of us finding him in a good alive state of being.

You open the container and Sollux looks in it, lifting each piece of clothing a bit searching for clues. Suddenly his face goes creepily pale, as if he has seen a ghost. "H-h-his medallion." He starts trembling and hugs the bloodied clothes. You try to comfort him, while also trying not to panic yourself.

"Sollux, this doesn't necessarily mean he's dead, there's still a chance we are going to find him." You aren't very good at sounding composed in situations like this, but it seems like he calms down a bit, so that's good enough for now. "Okay, so now what?" "We call the rest?"

You are Jack Noir and you are incredibly angry at one of your closest acquaintances. He already told you beforehand that there was a possibility he would have to kidnap Karkat, but you didn't expect him to make such a fuss. Normally he is good at working in the shadows, so it kind of surprised you to see him coming to your house with a panicked look on his face and least of all you expected him to break down on your doorstep.

The streets of Paris are always full of people, but now as you make your way back to your house after fulfilling the task of leaving Karkat's clothes drenched in blood in a container in an alley, it's especially busy. The people who have to walk past you look a bit scared since you wear one of your usual angry looks, murderous intent seeping through your pores.

"Open the door!" You yell as you finally reach your house. You went through the garden so you don't have to keep your voice down, you still don't want to take any risks though so you refrain from saying his name.

After a few seconds the door opens, you quickly make your way inside and sit on the couch besides Gamzee. "I did it, the clothes are at the place. How's Karkat? Found any good clothes?" Gamzee has gotten his doped up smile back, probably because of the smoke that's hanging in the room, making you a bit light-headed.

"Yeah, that motherfucker is all dressed J." His words are slurred. Another reason why you really want to stab him right now. He's never really present, always floating a bit, even if he's not drunk or on drugs, he gets his weird mood-swings locking him in the confinements of his own head. Really annoying.

"Okay, so now we will get him over the border? I have already contacted some acquaintances in Italy. They are looking forward to our arrival."

You're Cronus and since Sollux called you with the news they found Karkat's clothes but they were drenched in blood you have been feeling strangely sad and nervous. Like hell you could tell this to Kankri. He would flip his shit and never calm down again. You also had a bad feeling about all this, but you weren't one to visibly worry.

You did however text Kurloz and Mituna and Karkat's dad. Hoping their reaction wouldn't be half as bad as Kankri's would have been if you told him. If only it had been Eridan or something, but of course he wouldn't fall in love with your stupid little brother. Eridan could be nice but he often didn't bother.

"Cro, what are we going to do now." Of course he wanted to come with you and Kankri even though you told him to go with Sollux and that Dirk boy. "Why don't ya go searching for ya friend? Would spare me a headache." "But, what if he's dead?"

You sigh hard enough for him to hear, of course he isn't, why would Gamzee leave Karkat's clothes in an alley after killing Karkat? Wouldn't make sense, even for Gamzee. This was obviously just a distraction so they could take action in the meantime, but what were they planning?

You're Eridan and like hell are you going to show your big brother the text Gamzee sent you. It will be so much more fun if you just kept it to yourself, seeing them struggle is one of your hobbies after all. You do feel a spark of pity for Karkat though, being Helen of Troy couldn't be fun. The only big difference between them is that that bitch did have a choice and Karkat obviously didn't.

"Eridan, you going searching or not?" Your brother's annoyed voice is something you will never learn to appreciate. So condescending, so humiliating. When you were little you wanted to be just like him, but when you turned twelve and realized what a twat he really is, you decided you would become the opposite of him.

"Yeah, Cro, I'm already going, jeez." You really want to punch him, punch him and kick him and kill him. But instead you just put a bit of annoyance in your voice. "And if you dare to tell Kankri..." You don't fail to miss the threat in his voice, but it just brings a smirk to your face.

"Alrighty." You walk away, but when Kankri walks past you, you can't help but tug his sleeve.

"Kankri, Sollux just called, they discovered Kar's clothes covered in blood." You bluntly state this fact and then quickly make your way to where Sollux and Dirk are waiting for you to join them. You can hear a loud sob from Kankri in the distance.

You're Karkat and being tied up and thrown in a car in a very uncomfortable position with no space to move absolutely wasn't on your to do list for today. Suddenly you hear someone screaming from outside. The voice sounds strangely familiar, though it is muffled since you are locked up in a small room.

"Gamzee!"


	7. Chapter 7 clocks and cars

A/N Hi! I really want to thank everyone who reviewed! I love to read them so much! I really didn't expect to write such a long story, but yeah, here's chapter 7!

You are Jack Noir and you're quite bored.

The scream that left Karkat's mouth as you stabbed him left you quite pleased. It's been twenty days and you are bored out of your mind, resulting in you repeatedly stabbing the kidnapped boy. The farm where you are residing is boring as hell, the Italian country-side was also disappointedly boring.

"Stop! Please..." Karkat whimpered, trying to cover the wounds you had inflicted on him earlier that the day. "Nah." You sound just as indifferent as you feel, the horror in his eyes almost makes you giggle though. Lucky Gamzee went out to think things through, he would beat you to a pulp if he discovered what you were doing.

"I'll tell Gamzee if you don't stop!" Goddammit, stubborn brat. Couldn't he just shut up and, wait scratch that, couldn't he just stop talking and continue screaming? The family that owns the house has a family outing and only the oldest son stayed to make sure you wouldn't set the barn on fire again. Yes, again.

"He's not in his right mind, I could just kill him and have you all to myself, your screams are pretty and it's really fun to torture you. If you call for him or tell him, I'll kill him. I swear I will." You know you sound pathetic, but you don't care right now. Karkat's friends are close to tracking you down, you can feel it in your bones, but there is nowhere else to go from here.

The shriek Karkat suddenly gives awakens you from your thoughts. In the moment you weren't paying attention you've skinned a part of his upper-arm, to the point where you can see veins and muscles. How the hell are you supposed to hide this?

Back to your thoughts, it is the last hiding place because the others didn't want to give you shelter anymore and you also realize that if they are able to track you to Italy they can track you anywhere. It's hopeless.

Still, there is a way you can win this game. You are sure of it.

You're Kankri and the pain you felt when Eridan told you what he told you hasn't fully faded yet. A dull aching in your chest that makes breathing painful and leaves an agonizing emptiness in your belly, it's been present ever since and with the hour you start to feel weaker and less stable.

"Cronus. How late is it?" You ask it almost every minute but you fail to feel empathy for Cronus. It feels so unfair, his little brother is safe and unhurt except for the punch in the jaw you gave him three days ago, which he still whines about to his father who also has a hard time bringing up sympathy for his son, Cronus told him not to tell you, his father thinks he got what he paid for.

"It's four in the morning."He says. "You haven't slept for days Kankri, this is getting out of hand! Please! Please sleep, please tell me you're going to be okay!" He keeps screaming in pure despair, you just stare at him with hollow eyes and wait till he's too tired to continue and until the guilt will come, then he will wrap his arms around you and whisper apologies, he will cradle you and wipe the hair out of your face. His eyes will widen when he sees the hollowness of your eyes and the darkness of the bags under them.

"It's four sixteen, four sixteen, four sixteen." He will keep repeating the time until he falls asleep again. Then you will wait until the fear comes back and you wake him with the same question. "Cronus. How late is it?"

Before Cronus can fall asleep again so you can begin the cycle again, someone opens the door of the room. "Kan, Kar isn't dead, they found him." Eridan's voice is deep and full of suppressed fear and pain. You don't pay too much attention to it however since you suddenly feel very tired and hopeful.

"Cronus. Ask me how late it is." You demand of him, he looks a bit weirded out, but still asks the question. I am quick to answer.

"It's not too late." The words you just wanted to hear. It's not too late, you can still save him.

You're Eridan and you're grossed out from how happy Cronus and Kankri are. You kind of understand but do they not realize it's unfair to you? don't they know you can't feel relieved like them? Of course not.

"Eridan, bring us to Sollux." Your big brother commands you in a stern voice. Anger boils inside of you, you've worried just as much as them especially since you are the only one in this company who knows just who kidnapped Karkat and who knows they should still be worrying. Jack Noir is no joke.

"NO! I AM SICK OF YOU!" You are grossed out by your own behavior, it's been three days since Kankri has slept and eaten, but still here you are to ruin his happiness. Still, you can't help but be incredibly angry, anger has always consumed you from the inside and now you can't keep it in anymore, it kind of scares you, but it's also a relief.

"ERIDAN! DON'T SPEAK LIKE THAT TO KANKRI, UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT!" I am a bit startled at Cronus' outburst, and tears fill the corners of my eyes, why does he never chose me? Doesn't he care about his little brother?

"Fuck you, I hope Karkat dies!" you stomp away, but are not quick enough. Cronus grabs your collar and raises you so your feet barely touch the floor, you send him a provocative glare, but close your eyes as his hand reaches your face and burning pain races through your face, he throws you on the ground and starts kicking and beating you.

"Cronus! Stop! You're hurting him, he's your little brother for Christ's sake!" Kankri's screaming only makes the pain worse and only after your whole body goes numb from the pain Cronus stops his attacks, he spits on you and stalks away. You curl into yourself and release the tears that you refused to shed for so long.

"Eridan! Are you alright?" Kankri sits next to you and starts tending to your wounds even though he's obviously too exhausted and should sleep. You lose consciousness during the treatment due to the severe pain which you am not used to, but it's only for seconds. After he finishes you quickly get up and push him on the ground, with one last spark of anger you close your hands around his pale neck and choke him, you only stop the moment Cronus hits you unconscious with a chair.

You're Karkat and you're just tired from the pain Jack inflicts on you, every single damn time Gamzee isn't around he will beat you and cut your skin and hit you with his belt. You feel so damn tired and you just want to fall asleep and never wake up, but you can't.

"Karkat! Where are you?" Gamzee's voice makes you panic, you still have to cover the burns Jack made on your arms, why did he have to chose such an obvious place? To tease you? To make it even harder for you? So when you would wear short sleeves you would be forced to look at it? He's so mean and you don't even know why.

"I'm here!" Your voice is thrashed due to all the screaming and you're afraid he will hear it. But when he walks up the stairs and opens the door while you quickly put on a big sweater he has a big smile on his face. You smile back, you cannot withstand that pure and honest smile of his. It's the only pure and honest thing left in your life.

"Hey bro, what did you and Jack do while I was gone? You two seem really happy lately." Disgust almost makes you vomit, the last thing you are is happy and it's just terrifying that Jack can be so happy to hurt you. "Bro you alright? You look a bit pale."

"Nah, nothing, 's just a cold. We were playing games and yes it was a lot of fun, it's a shame you weren't there." You force a smile on your face, but Gamzee doesn't notice it's forced. "Alright bro, why don't I join you two tomorrow, got no business to attend to."

"Karkat, will you come here for a moment I need to talk to you for a bit." Suddenly Jack stands in the door-opening. Your eyes widen from fear and you have trouble keeping the smile on your face and swallow a bile of vomit.

"Sure, you can wait in my room Gamz." You walk out of the door and follow Jack to his room. The moment the door closes you feel a hand close over your neck and squeeze the air out of you, he kicks you in the stomach with his knee with so much force the last air in your lungs is forced out and you give up blood.

"Please stop..." You whisper and claw at his hands. Instead of stopping he only uses more force. "Why? Why do you still talk to him like that? Why are you still happy? Tell me!" The unmistakable hate and agony in his words scares you a lot and makes you wonder how someone can be this sick.

"I... a-a-am not," A high-pitched squeak leaves your mouth as he forces his sharp nails in your throat, blood spills out and runs over your neck and into your shirt. "Stop... it's not... He-!" You try to form the words and even try to scream for help, but he slaps you in the face and throws you hard against the wall.

"Karkat, remember who gave you those scars all over your body. Stop smiling. I know it's an act, but I hate it. So stop it. Understood?" You quickly nod and he lets go. Your body falls to the ground, your breathing is erratic. "Good boy. Now let's go back to Gamzee and tell him the game is only for two people, okay?" You quickly nod again and he drags you to your feet and out of the room to your own room.

"Here we are again! Gamzee, how did it go?" Jack acts so nice to Gamzee it's frightening you. A shiver travels through your body and your legs go weak, you fall hard on your knees. Gamzee looks at you with a worried look. "It's just a fever Gamzee, don't worry." You quickly try to calm Gamzee down in fear he will think it's his fault.

Two strong arms lift you and put you in bed, I hug Gamzee strongly afraid to let go, he may have kidnapped you, but you can't just erase the years where you were best friends, inseparable and ready to face the whole world.

"Karbro, I'll go get some medicine, so could you let go for a moment?" His voice is so gentle, he softly carrasses your back, you quickly shake your head and grip his shirt. You can feel Jack's glare from the other side of the room, but you don't care.

"Gamzee. You go get the medicine, I'll take care of Karkat." Jack's voice is so cold, so cold. And his fingers trying to separate you from Gamzee hurt. Tears form in the corners of your eyes, but Gamzee doesn't notice and leaves the room quietly.

You look Jack in the eye, terrified, the last thing you notice before passing out is him grabbing a knife and pushing his hand down on your neck until you lose consciousness.

You're Dirk, you've found their hide-out together with Sollux, you're both really good with computers and managed to track their car. It took longer than expected since they didn't use the navigation until they reached Italy.

"Dirk, thank you so much." Sollux says with a raspy voice. He didn't have anything to drink since we found a lead this morning and feverishly worked through all the files and numbers appearing on his screen.

"No, dude, thank you." You sigh. You have pulled an all-nighter and since you didn't sleep very well after Karkat was kidnapped anyway, you're not exhausted. You're lying on the ground next to Sollux. Suddenly you hear footsteps. Kankri and Cronus come walking into the room, Cronus is carrying a very much unconscious Eridan.

"We found them." you say, giving them a thumbs-up from your spot on the ground. They are upside-down and you probably look ridiculous like this, but you don't really care. "We heard. Where are they?" You're disappointed Cronus doesn't sound happier.

"Italy, the country-side near Florence. They are in an old farm with an Italian family." As Sollux tells this to Cronus and Kankri, Kurloz and Mituna come walking into the room. The determination in Kurloz' eyes is clearly visible, and you finally realize what we're going to do. We're going on a rescue mission. A bunch of youngsters, going to Italy to save their friend. Great.

"Tomorrow morning, you bastards. Like hell am I going to go right now." You groan and turn to lay on your side.

The next morning you pack all your things. You all managed to sneak away while the parents weren't paying attention, it seemed like a better idea since they would just insist on calling the police if you told them.

"Dirk, ready?" Sollux asks before you get on the train, you freeze before you can get into the train. Are you sure? This is a stupid idea and you have only ever obsessed over Karkat never actually met him until a while ago.

"Yeah of course."

The ride is quiet and you just look out of the window and count the cows you see. Sollux tries to go through the plan with you again, but you're just too spaced out. You just have to go into the house when nobody is around, take Karkat and run away. You don't care about the details.

You're Sollux and Dirk is frustrating you. He isn't listening at all. He is nice and cool and knows a lot of useless information about irony, but you can't stand the way he's staring out of the window, it's like he's planning to die today.

"Next station we need to get off the train." Cronus pokes your arm. Talking softly trying not to wake the sleeping forms of Kankri and Mituna. You smile a bit at the sight, they look so peaceful.

You pack your stuff and try to warn Dirk without startling him. As he looks at you, you notice the hatred on his face. "Dirk, please don't do anything stupid. Our main objective is saving Kk." He nods, but it's not convincing since a dark aura radiates off of him.

It takes more than an hour to reach the farm, but when we get there we have immediate luck. Gamzee is just leaving the house and when we muster up the courage to look through the windows it turns out the family isn't home either or they are all on the first floor. I just hope Karkat is.

As Kurloz forces the door open with the anger that came over him when he saw Gamzee, you immediately hear gagged noises coming from upstairs, worry turns your stomach. It's Karkat's voice. Suddenly screeching and then silence.

"What was that?" Mituna's voice sounds kind of terrified and even though you want to comfort him, you can't, you're frozen on the spot and it feels like all your blood is drained out of your body. 'this is your chance to save him' your mind says to you.

"Ah? Do I hear visitors?" You've only just realized Kankri started screaming and has fallen on the ground the moment Karkat started making those horrible sounds, you failed to register it but now everything seems abnormally clear.

"What have you done?!" Kankri's screams echo through the building, a man in a black suit comes walking down the stairs, Karkat's limp body in his arms. The man smiles dangerously and malice plays in his eyes. Those eyes are truly scary, they are dark, like the end of the world is inside them.

"Who are you?" Kurloz asks, suspicion dripping from his voice. As you've finished looking at the man's eyes you also look at Karkat. He is even thinner than before, his neck is bandaged and his eyes are empty. You wonder if he's dead for a moment, but then you notice the small movements of his chest telling you he's still breathing.

"I'm Jack Noir, I'm Gamzee's friend. Or rather, his partner in crime a fellow assassin." You see Kurloz' eyes widen and you're quite shocked yourself. Gamzee is an assassin? "Yes he is." Noir says as if he read your thoughts. "Why are you so surprised?" The smile on the man's face makes you shiver.

"But now he's become useless, he would kill me if he knew what I did and I just can't have that. And I'm sick of him claiming our little Karkitty, I want to keep him myself." The man's pout disgusts you and you're quite happy you weren't any later, now Gamzee could protect Karkat even if it were just for a bit. Ironic that his kidnapper had to be the one to protect him.

"He's not a goddamn object or a pet! You sick bastard!" You're surprised at Dirk's outburst, even though you saw the hate in his eyes, he still managed to be so composed. "O but he is. Don't be mistaken by his harsh words, he is a little kitty. A stray kitty, tsk, tsk. You didn't take good care of him." The insane look in his eyes makes me want to just free Karkat from that horrible person.

Suddenly a phone starts ringing and Jack smiles a shark-like smile and gets his phone from his pocket. He opens it and starts the conversation. "Hello, ah, Nepeta, Equius. Do you see the target? Okay. Okay. Understood. Then, kill Gamzee Makara my dear friends, for a bad clown needs to be punished."

You're Kurloz, rage is filling you. The man before you just ordered for your little brother to be killed. "Nepeta and Equius still had a score to be settled since Gamzee went berserk a few years ago and almost killed them and well, they think he's gone berserk again." That man is insane and you know it.

"You're his older brother, aren't you?" He is now talking to you, which makes it really hard to not just snap and kill him. Instead you nod and glare at him. "Oo, scary. But seriously, were you really unaware of what Gamzee did? Are you now disappointed?"

"Of course I'm disappointed, but not in him, in myself for letting him meet you and be dragged into your madness. I failed my little brother once, but I won't fail him again, so be prepared for I will kill you with my bare hands." It feels good to say it, but his expression doesn't change.

"As much as I'd love to stick around and live the end of that, I'd better take my leave. Good day." You try to run to him, but discover there's an invisible wall that you fail to break. He walks upstairs, you have no idea where he will go, nor any control over what he will do.

"We need to find Gamzee, we can make saving Karkat our second objective since Gamzee is now in mortal danger." You are quick to agree with Cronus. Sollux, Kankri and Dirk not so much.

You still manage to convince them and just a moment later you are outside running over the path between the two grain fields on either sides of you. Everything until the horizon is grain. Suddenly you reach a highway, cars are quickly passing by. You try to call Gamzee like you constantly did the past few days, but he's still not picking up.

"There!" Dirk suddenly screams, pointing at two people running at the other side of the highway. A girl dressed in a green jacket and a guy with a tank-top. They manage to stop a truck and get in. Something tells you they are the Nepeta and Equius Jack was telling you about.

"We need to follow them!"

You're Gamzee and you've finally found the thing you were looking for. You're currently walking on your way back, enjoying the warm sun and the beautiful grain that surrounds you. It's motherfucking awesome. You hope Karkat will get better soon, since you don't like seeing him sick. He's already thin enough as it is and the bags under his eyes are also not lying.

You're worried about Karkat, he's been acting weird, he doesn't get all mad and shit anymore like he usually does. He is also wearing winter's clothing while it is really hot outside. Your path of thought is interrupted as your phone suddenly rings, you look at the screen and see it is Kurloz, as much as you'd like to pick up the phone you know it would give away your location.

"Are you Gamzee Makara?" You put the phone away as a small boy starts talking to you. He's about your age, but looks just as small and fragile as Karkat. "Yes I am, and who are you?" You recognize him as the youngest son of the farmer family you're residing with and decide it's safe to engage in some conversation, you have only seen glimpses of the family, but they seem really nice and only talking to Jack and Karkat is getting suffocating.

"I'm Tavros, Nepeta and Equius want to see you, will you come with me?" You slowly nod, shocked to hear the names of the ones you accidentally hurt years ago. "Alright, but how do you know those people?" You hear the doubt in your own voice, which scares you a bit.

"They are mister Noir's friends, I know all his friends." The boy answers, he sounds nice and you don't think you will be in danger with him around. You nod again and follow him down the path you were already walking.

"Gamzee!" You hear Nepeta say your name, but you haven't discovered where she is yet, suddenly you see the girl is at the other side of the road, there aren't any cars around, so you start to cross the road. You wonder where Equius is, you've never seen the one without the other.

"Gamzee!" You look up as you hear Sollux, he's standing at the side of the road pointing at something. You follow his finger and see Equius, he's in a truck and he's coming your way, fast. You try to run, but the truck is too fast. The hit comes unexpected and hard, pain travels through your body and then everything turns an awful white.


	8. Chapter 8 a surprising past

/Chapter 8/

You're Tavros Nitram, a boy from the Italian country-side, you like to explore the environment and you like to play with the little pools of mud at the sides of the bad roads with the other farmer kids. You have been home-schooled but you only learned English and math since those were the only things you would need to know to help your family.

The man you had to get to the road is now probably dead and you find it kind of disturbing, of course you've seen bodies and people being murdered. With the line of work your parents are in it was kind of inevitable, but you didn't expect to ever see someone you've kept an eye on for twenty days being hit by a truck, presumably a truck that was driven by one of his friends.

"What are you doing! Quit just standing there!" A boy with a lisp and weird glasses is now standing beside you and is shaking your shoulders in an attempt to wake you from your daze. You look at him and blink a few times.

"What happened?" You know it's a stupid question, but you can't help but make sure what happened really happened. "What happened?! What happened is that Gamzee got hit by a truck and it is quite possible he won't make the next day!" "So he's not dead?" You are quite relieved to hear that.

"No he's not, he's just injured really badly, the ambulance is coming this way as we speak. I am Sollux by the way." The boy sounds just a tad bit annoyed, but from the look in his eyes you know he's mainly relieved like you.

Suddenly a whole lot of other people come walking to you. One of them looks a lot like Gamzee and you wonder if they are siblings. The boy that looks like Gamzee runs towards Gamzee, the moment he notices his body laying on the side of the road where Sollux dragged him to, to prevent other cars hitting him and then really killing him. A guy that looks a lot like Sollux follows him.

"Where is Karkat?" You suddenly realize they were here to rescue Karkat. Fearing what has happened or will happen you ask the question again when no one answers. "Still with Noir, we couldn't rescue him." A guy with pointy shades says. Fear grips your heart, if Jack goes as far as to kill Gamzee, one of the best assassins of the organization, then he can't have anything good planned.

"Then you better give up on rescuing him. Jack Noir is a very dangerous person, and he has his feet planted deep in the organization, he's being protected by the highest bosses and practically unreachable for anyone below his rank. No way you will be able to save him." You see your words send a shock through the group, but you had to tell them the truth.

"Well, if it isn't little Tavros, never thought you would be a betrayer." Jack's voice is machine-like and it sounds like a recording rather than his real voice, but a very real bullet pierces through your chest, you lose consciousness just as the ambulance arrives.

You're Sollux, after the ambulance arrived, everyone was brought to the hospital. You aren't injured but they want to keep you there for one day as well to be sure you aren't in shock or traumatized by what happened.

You continuously have to repeat to yourself that this really is the most logical course of action, otherwise you would run away to search for Karkat. You aren't the one kidnapped by a dangerous criminal but by not thinking things through you will never be able to save him.

Gamzee is in a coma, Dirk has been fidgeting around too much to have a conversation with him and you have no fucking idea where Eridan is, so to say you feel frustrated about the current situation is an understatement.

Dammit! You can't even think about what would be logical to do at this point, too many emotions surge through you to even think normally.

Suddenly the door opens, Dirk comes running in, the look on his face is one of pure panic. You move in front of him to stop him from exiting the building without you knowing what he's doing, but you didn't expect to be hit in the face with a fist.

You fall on the ground, the impact was hard enough to leave you there dazed for a moment.

You're Dirk and you've been fidgeting around the halls of the hospital for longer than an hour now. The restlessness in your legs isn't something you aren't used to, but today it feels different. You hear a shrill sound in your right ear.

At first you were quite alarmed by hearing the non-existent sound, but now it's actually quite comforting.

Images fly through your head, of corpses. Lots and lots of tortured, mutilated corpses. You used to be able to ignore the images, but now you are in too much distress. Not because Karkat has been kidnapped, no, that's not it, but because you let _Jack Noir_ escape.

Jack Noir has been a part of your life ever since he succesfully assassinated your parents. They were a part of the organization, and you knew that what they were doing was bad, but you didn't know that they were actually pretty good people.

You didn't know that the fact that they neglected their son and emotionally hurt their son so much was because they were doing good things for other people. Goddammit. They weren't even so nice as to let you hate them. They died because they were doing good, so it wouldn't be morally acceptable if you hated them.

But you could hate Jack Noir.

And you did. it became quite the obsession, and you are addicted to obsessions. You've been raised as a neglected child and that neglect made it so you felt like obsession was the only thing keeping you company. Especially if those obsessions involved people.

You thought that you could beat Noir at his own game, but your calculations weren't the ones of a computer, so of course the failing marge was a lot higher than you thought. And you failed, in a very grotesque and pride hurting way.

When your phone rings notifying you that someone is calling you, you are quick to answer the call. It's an unknown number, but that's exactly what you've been waiting for.

"Dirk." A smirk starts to form on your face when you hear the voice. You finally beat your computer at calculating probabilities.

"That's me." You try to keep your voice steady, you can't let them know how smug you feel.

"It's a miracle." The sarcasm is very evident in their voice.

"It is. May I inquire as to why I've deserved the pleasure of being called by you?"

"Of course you may. Friends should be able to tell eachother everything, shouldn't they?"

" _Friends_ should indeed be able to tell each other anything, why do you think I'm surprised by your answer?" You smirk, you're almost certain they can hear it in your voice, but you don't care much at the moment.

"How cruel of you. But I can tell you that the matter involves a certain short, foul-mouthed kid. I take you know what I'm talking about." Their voice is as soft as satin but you know that there are many layers underneath that sweetness.

"So, Rose, I take you're still an ally of Noir's?" The small chuckle that comes from the other side of the line makes you smile, but it isn't a smirk anymore. Damn.

"O, little prince, what gave it away?" Her voice sounds rather amused, as if she's happy you figured that our.

"Let's not get into that. I want information. Now." You decide to make the conversation serious again before you're lost in each other's mind games.

"That's why I called." Your mood takes a 360 and you're clenching the phone tightly, almost breaking it.

"If you already knew what I wanted, why haven't you told me yet?" You curse at yourself, you've lost your calm and if someone can sense that from continents away, it's Rose.

"It's too much fun messing with you. But today was too easy, don't repeat that sort of behavior or I'm never calling again." You clench your teeth, You need her too much to snap back at her.

"The fact is," She says calmly, the threatening tone from before now completely gone. "Jack is very twisted, this you already knew, and if he's gotten himself a new interest, he's not letting go easily. And boy does he think that the kid is interesting."

"Like me?" You hate to point at any resemblance between you and Noir, but now it feels like a necessity to know if there is any.

"Dirk, I can assure you that his little 'obsessions' are nothing like yours. Your obsessions are self-destructive, his tend to harm the object of obsession more than the obsessor himself." The sudden worry in her voice sends a shiver down your spine.

"Dirk, there's something else that you don't know." You stiffen, if Rose brings something carefully it can only be bad news, very bad news.

"Karkat is the missing kid." Suddenly you feel like a blank. Like everything has been erased from you, only that last line keeps repeating inside your head. It can't be true.

"But...wait, that kid was albino. It can't be the same person." You are now very much in a panic, it just can't be true.

"Hair-dye and lenses." She answers quite bluntly. You sigh, you're suddenly very tired.

"I'm gonna hang, call back later okay? When you've got more information." You ramble before hanging the phone and quickly thinking about what you've just heard.

Years ago a kid went missing in the city you lived back then. Everyone was all over the news, all sorts of rumors were going around that it had been an abduction, or worse. Back then you had just discovered the shady business your parents were involved in.

But back then you still wished they _weren't_ evil, that they were what you thought they were, normal, caring parents. But after that the family life came spiraling down. You started to hate them, they started to neglect you, a wall was build between you and your parents.

A few years after the kid was forgotten. The posters disappeared behind other ones and no one spoke about him again. Until one day your parents didn't get home, you thought it was just like the other times, the times where they would go clubbing and not return until late in the morning.

Then Rose called. Her voice had been stoic like always, but you heard that her voice sounded a bit muffled. She told you your parents had been killed by Jack. She told you there had been a reason. You asked what the reason had been, she told me the reason was that they had helped the missing kid escape.

Jack was going to sell the kid in his human traffic business, but your parents -who usually helped with transportations of the goods- had felt bad helping to sell a kid so they helped him escape and helped him, his father and older brother escape to America.

It had taken a long time for Jack to find out, unusually long, but he found out and killed them for it.

Karkat was that kid.

If they didn't save him, he would have died or worse, but if they didn't maybe then you wouldn't have as much problems as you have now. Maybe most people wouldn't think you were a human robot if they hadn't saved him. But maybe they would have.

But you can't do without that last string that binds you to normal life. You can't live without your obsessions. You don't want to live without having known Karkat.

You storm out of the room to the room where Sollux is waiting. He tries to stop you when he sees what you're up to, but you can't stop now, you need answers. The moment that you're close enough you quickly raise your fist and before you know it you've punched him square in the face.

He falls down and you continue running away, to the exit. Once you're outside you don't stop running, you only stop when you're suddenly surrounded by trees and realize you don't know where you are.

Frustration surges through your body. You fall on your knees. The feeling of being powerless only making the internal struggle and the anger against yourself and the world bigger. You do something you've never done, you scream. You scream until your lungs hurt.

You feel so drained. It's a miserable feeling you hope you never experience again. You collapse on the ground and tightly hug your knees as you slip into a fetal position. Suddenly tears are falling down your cheeks, you try to keep them in, but you've lost all your fighting power.

You end up crying over the feeling of injustice and all the pain of the last years. You've always felt so much but expressed so little. But now you can't stop the feelings from drowning you.

You have to save the person who caused your parents to die, you have to. Because he has to save you.

You're Kanaya Maryam, a subordinate of an organization that sells on the black market to fund illegal experiments. In fact, your girlfriend is one of the scientists that helps with the experiments and normally you are too, but Noir asked you to help him and no one defies Noir.

Thus you are now cooking dinner for a kid he abducted. After what Rose, your girlfriend, told you about the kid, you felt morally obliged to stay and look after the kid. You still remember when Noir first abducted him, he was so small, he probably doesn't remember it's been so long.

After you've finished cooking you walk to his room with the tray with food balancing on one hand. The hallways are long and form a maze in order to make sure intruders can be located before they reach the important parts of the building.

Jack Noir has a private house, whereas most members stay at the main-building, only his servants may stay in the house.

When you finally reach the room you flinch a bit as you hear the person in the room angrily screaming and throwing a tantrum, the guard, Equius, is nervously sweating and looks like he truly doesn't know what he has to do.

"Ah, Kanaya, you should deal with him, it's _your_ job afterall." You roll your eyes at the snappy tone he uses while he clearly feels very uncomfortable. "Jack told me you would help me take care of him so it's also your job Zahhak." Now he looks even more uncomfortable.

"Now open the door and make sure he doesn't escape or hurt me so I can talk to him." He looks strangely glad to get the order. "Yes ma'am." He mutters before opening the locks and carefully walking into the room, seconds later he has the violently thrashing boy in an iron grip.

"Karkat?" The boy looks at me at the mention of his name. "Hello, I'm Kanaya. I've brought you food, so if you can promise me that you can stay calm Equius will let you go." You keep your voice calm and throw a bit of a caring tone into it to help him trust you a little.

He immediately stops fighting and looks at you as if he triest to look through you and see if you mean what you say. "Alright." He mutters quietly, you nod at Equius to let him go and he immediately does so and leaves the room.

"Could you please give me the food?" His voice is just as careful as yours, he's trying to get a hold of your intentions, you can see it in his analyzing eyes. You smile and hand him the tray. He eyes your every movement warily, you feel a pang of pain at that, but of course he wouldn't remember you.

You're Karkat, you've been locked up in a small cell-like room ever since Jack fled from Italy and took you with him. You are really fed up with just being dragged everywhere. Why did you allow yourself to just go with the flow, swept away by the current.

Allowed yourself to be powerless.

But now you're going to get that power back. You've been thinking a lot since being captured. Thought about escaping. About getting control over yourself and your situation.

But it seemed hopeless. The room doesn't have any windows and the door is made of steel. Only once a day someone comes to bring you a meal and water but since there is also a guard with her you can't say your chances of getting past them are high.

But maybe she, Kanaya, can help you escape. She seemed nice enough. You talked to her about what happened in Paris and stuff like that and she told you a bit about her life, it was great to have a normal conversation again.

You stare at the gray walls once again, after a while you started to notice the little imperfections on the wall and started memorizing them all to keep yourself occupied. The simple task is getting harder, your mind can't seem to focus anymore.

Ever since that day in Paris it has felt like even the simplest things have gotten harder. Probably because of all the shock of everything that happened, your life used to be relatively easy after all, of course you wouldn't be able to process this all easily.

But you aren't going to be the idiot you were in the past anymore, fuck you if you would. You're going to be the hero of your own story, dammit. You don't need anyone, you don't need their pity.

With that thought in your mind you fall asleep, you dream about a large monster that chases you and your friends on an island, you run and run until you collapse and the monster eats you.

You wake up in a pool of sweat from your own screaming. Kanaya is leaning over you, her hands on your shoulders as if she tries to get you to wake up.

"Karkat? Are you alright?" The worry in her voice is genuine and it assures you a little that maybe with her help you will be able to get away from this hell.

"Karkat? What did you dream about? Please tell me." "Ah, I don't remember." You're lying, you don't even know why. And, shit, you know that that Jack is a psycho who shouldn't be messed with, but you feel strangely stoic.

"Kanaya, when is Jack coming back? He hasn't come to see me since he brought me here." God, this sounds like you want to see Jack, and also, damn it is hard to not curse.

"Jack had to deal with some problems on the market, but he'll be back tomorrow." She answered warily, with a calculating expression. "Karkat, why do you ask?"

"Because I sincerely hope you can help me get out of here before he comes back."

You're Dirk and you've been lost in the forest for the last few hours. You've tried calling Rose again but she's not answering her phone.

After tripping over a branch you really don't feel like getting up anymore. You know you have to, you have to get back to the hospital. Then your phone starts ringing and you regain your hope that it isn't too late.

It is an unknown number but you accept it in the hope it's Rose, known for never calling twice with the same phone, but when you accept the phone you hear a very different voice. Eridan's voice.

"Dirk? This is you right?" Your first reaction is nodding but then you realize again that he can't see you since it's a call. "Yes. What do you want?" You have the feeling you need to be cautious, even his brother doesn't trust him after all.

"I want to help finding Karkat." The breath you were holding without even noticing you did that escapes, you relax a bit more. "I realize my earlier behavior wasn't exactly...appropiate and thus I want to make up for that."

"And the reason you're telling this to me?" You try to sound as polite as he does but you can't help sounding skeptical.

"They hate me." He says melodramatically. "And I overheard your call and thought you might want more information so us working together could work out great." Now you're interest is piqued, if he's got information you have to have it.

"I'm quite certain you could use this piece of information Strider." His voice isn't sounding through the phone again, you quickly turn around, and there he's standing. A few bandages cover the injuries he got and he's slightly limping but his smug expression makes it so he doesn't come off as weak at all, he seems confident and fearless.

"Dude, way to make your entrance." "Strider, I think you have something you will have to tell me, or I'm not going to tell you shit."

You're Eridan, Karkat used to be a very good friend of yours and you used to tell each other literally everything. You still have that bond, but Karkat keeps it a secret from his other friends and if they are with them he can be a real asshole to you.

Still, you will never just throw all those years of friendship away just because his friends don't like you. He was the first person to tell you you weren't an awful person. Cronus, Sollux, your dad; everyone always told you you weren't worth shit. But not Karkat.

You met Karkat in kindergarten, he was six when he joined the class and never spoke about where he'd lived before that, later you discovered he simply didn't remember from before he moved to our little town. He had a lot of nightmares, he always told you about them, describing them in excruciating detail, you would sometimes get nightmares from the terrible things he told you.

At elementary school Karkat was bullied because he was very small, because of that he became easily triggered and even got depressed, but he put up a strong front and pretended he was a happy kid who liked to flirt and made friends easily, in middle school nobody bullied him anymore.

He was still depressed, but only talked to you about it, in fear people would pick on him again if he told them. Not even Gamzee, his best friend since middle school, knew about it.

One day when you was over at Karkat's his dad told you he had to tell you something, he told Karkat to wait upstairs and took you to the garage. He told you about what had happened that made Karkat lose his memory and caused his nightmares.

Karkat and his family had lived in a small city, where they had been happy and lived a peaceful life until one day Karkat had disappeared. Of course the family had been in great distress and later they even thought he was dead.

Until one day their son returned. He stood on the doorstep, completely disoriented and without any memory of what had happened. After that Karkat continued to have gruesome nightmares. Nightmares a four-years-old shouldn't be able to have.

They went to a lot of therapists, but they all just prescribed medication.

So they decided that it would be best to move. Away from the memories that gave Karkat those nightmares.

After he told the story he asked you to look out for Karkat, that Karkat needed him. Especially since his mother had passed away a year before and he still struggled with depression and insecurity. You promised you would take care of him.

Since Sollux came into the picture and you noticed the huge romance drama going on around those three, you felt excluded from Karkat's life. It didn't help that Sollux hates you. But you started to research Karkat's life, tried to find out why he disappeared back then and who was responsible for it.

It took a while before the name Jack Noir reached you, but since the first time you heard it, you heard it everywhere. Jack Noir the one person everyone feared. And you discovered something else. Something you might as well tell the Strider kid so he can help you get Karkat back, after all, you can't abandon your promise now, can you? Especially when keeping your promise could get people to actually like you.

"I know where Karkat is." As you don't see his expression change at all, you decide you might as well take your game up a notch. "And I know how to get him out of there."

"Tell me." As expected the Strider boy was all ears now. "Since you know Rose, you should also know Kanaya." He nodded, you see him trying to understand what you're plan is.

"Well, I also know her and she told me Jack has her care for him and that she would very much like to help Karkat escape." You see the hope lighting his eyes up, now you really can't help but grin, you're going to keep your promise.


End file.
